giving and receiving feedback effectively

Giving feedback in a way that works, that helps a person improve, is one of the core skills of managing people.
Receiving feedback elegantly is central to personal development. Here are some approaches that will ensure a satisfactory outcome.
To give effective feedback:
• Check that the person is ready to receive some feedback.
• Comment only on observable behaviour (things the person does) not on personality or attitudes (things the person seems to be)
• Be specific - i.e. talk about actual examples of behaviour that you have noticed in particular situations
• Be personal - talk about what you yourself have noticed, rather than what you hear from others
• Be clear why you are giving the feedback and what outcomes you are looking for
• Give feedback as support not as punishment
• Give the person the opportunity to respond

To receive feedback effectively:
• Treat the feedback as useful information, not criticism
• Listen attentively to see what you can learn from it
• Decide how you want to use the information
• Thank the person giving you the feedback for giving you useful information
• Refrain as far as possible from justifying or explaining